17.04.2016
leadership, management, motivation, Wellness
Here are excerpts from an article by Inc. magazine’s Peter Economy that I really liked; it’s short, to the point, and is sure to help reduce conflict in your professional lives as well as your personal lives (yes I add commentary on this below).
- Want to be that person who makes and keeps friends easily? Then make a habit of being really likable.
- Ever wonder what makes some people much more liked than others in social settings?
- Or why there are certain people who can win over multiple friends without so much as a second thought?
Turns out, it’s not all natural talent–there are some secrets to the trade as well. Read on for 5 habits of immensely likable people.
- They ask questions–and wait to hear the answers. Think back to the many times someone has asked you how you’re doing without sticking around long enough for you to get out a second word. Nobody likes people who are self-absorbed, especially those who pretend to care. Be a truly good friend–ask questions and stick around to hear the answer–and watch how more people enjoy being with you.
This is also true for personal relationships – if you ask a question, wait for the answer; don’t try to finish your partner’s sentence – and of course, this works both ways
- They do not come to quick conclusions. Nobody should be preliminarily judged based on appearance or a perceived stereotype–especially not without giving others a chance to tell their story. It’s important to remember that we all come from different walks of life and that no one else really knows what another person has been through. You scare people away when you jump to and share your conclusions too quickly–wait before drawing conclusions to make sure your opinion is always a fair one.
This is actually more true in personal relationships – we all share the fact we have flaws, but we rarely discriminate with family and close friends – why do we do it in the workplace?
- They don’t need attention. One of the greatest downfalls of human nature is that so many of us are hungry for attention. That’s why you’ll often find that if you place the attention on others instead, they’re usually grateful for it and admire you more for it. When we don’t have the need to make ourselves the star of every show, others will be much more likely to want to spend time with us.
This is a tough one – as humans most of us do need attention, just not the same kind, at the same time, or from the same people – in your personal and professional lives, seek to find connection with others; don’t be exclude
- They are reliable. This habit is really as simple as it seems. Likable people don’t cancel last minute and they don’t show up 30 minutes late. They simply do what they say they are going to do, banning an emergency, of course. Be reliably consistent, and those you interact with will appreciate you more and may very well return the same courtesy to you.
If you say you will do something by a certain day/time, then commit to it – reliability builds trust, and this certainly is true for personal relationships as well as professional ones
- They smile. People underestimate the positive power of a smile. It is scientifically proved that you are far more attractive and draw the positive attention of others when you smile frequently and genuinely.
Related to #4, would it really kill you to smile? Everyone has there share of misery in their lives, a smile from you just might make someone’s day
The full article is here –> http://www.inc.com/peter-economy/5-surprising-habits-of-really-likeable-people.html?cid=em01011week15day14a
Enjoy!…r/Chuck
26.10.2014
Health, law enforcement, Officer health, Uncategorized, Wellness
I’m back at the International Association of Chiefs of Police (IACP) Conference this year, after missing out on 2013. This year it’s in the wonderful Orlando, Florida sun, and the amazing Orange County Convention Centre, which will take me the rest of the week to find my way around.
Today I attended the Mindful Resilience Training: Integrating Mindfulness Practices to Enhance Officer Safety and Wellness education session. This was chaired by Lt. Joe Carter and Detective Jennifer ‘Missy’ Elliott, both from City of Falls Church Police Department in Falls Church, Virginia.
Jennifer opened up the session with complete honesty about the reality of working as a Police Officer. “Law Enforcement can be toxic” said the first slide. “No one prepares you for the reality of the job“, said Jennifer.
She thought she was strong, but after working and witnessing such crimes as homicides, crimes against children, suicides, accidents, she was haunted by the images constantly coming back to her. No one told her to talk about it – all Officers witnessed similarly awful scenes, but no one spoke about them. She kept it all inside her, and pushed it aside, but then she started to have nightmares and panic attacks.
She was also scared to say anything to her colleagues in case they thought she was crazy. She started to get really bad back pain, and joint pain. Eventually after many cortisone shots from her Doctor, he suggested she tried Yoga. At first she thought this was nuts, and she was very doubtful, but what transpired after her first yoga session, made her realize that ‘this stuff was good’! She felt a clear mind/body connection with the deep breathing and a calmness too.
Shortly after that first session, Jennifer got her first homicide call. Her first reaction was of panic, which she had started to experience before, but she started to do her deep breathing and when she arrived at the scene, she was calm. She assessed the situation and took charge, and made clear decisions. Her colleagues noticed how calm she was and commented on it.
Jennifer became passionate about Yoga. She knew this was something that all her fellow officers could not just benefit from, but it might just help to save their lives. The very sad reality is that suicide is the No.1 killer of Police Officers in the USA. So she set up a yoga class for detectives, and funded it from her own pocket to start of with. Initially it was scoffed at, but all the attendees realized just how good and calm they felt.
Jennifer went ahead, and spoke to HR to get the funding for a regular class, and also an agreement so Officers did not have to pay themselves for yoga. It has been very successful. Now Jennifer Elliott is spreading the word to all Police Departments about just how necessary it is to look after their Officers, and to ensure they have healthy minds and bodies – after all, healthy officers give more to their departments and in turn, to the communities.
Joe Carter spoke briefly after Jennifer, and he said that they are trying to keep Officers alive and healthy, not losing them to suicide, heart problems and many stress related illnesses. He wants to prioritise, keeping Officers’ minds healthy in order to not make mistakes on the job, while under duress. A stressed mind, one that cannot not think calmly, will be more likely to make bad decision in a volatile situation. Joe said that by speaking to many officers who had lost friends or colleague to suicide, that the big regret is not having something in place to cope with all the stresses that police are under.
I really do think that this is one of the most important education sessions of the whole conference, and I felt that many more should have been there. There is a very real problem out there with stress in everyones life, but it is doubled in law enforcement with many extremely, emotionally charged incidents that they have to deal with on a daily basis, and this coupled with the ‘normal’ stresses of family life, financial worries, marriage problems, makes for some very worrying statistics for Police Officers.
There really should be a Wellness/Mindfulness program in every Police Department, where yoga and meditation can be practiced to allow peace and healing, and to achieve and sustain a healthy mind and body. I applaud Jennifer Elliotts’ honesty on telling her story, and I really do hope that her passion becomes a reality in every state.
Speakers: Detective Jennifer Elliott and Lieutenant Joe Carter
Agency: City of Falls Church Police Department, Falls Church, VA
Resources:
Until next time…take care of yourselves!
r/Mary